God’s Calling vs. Purpose: How Surrender and Obedience Lead Christian Women to Their Next Yes
It’s 2 AM, and you’re staring at the ceiling, wondering if God can really use a divorced woman to raise whole children—and whether your God-given purpose survived the divorce papers. Church feels like a room full of intact families who have it all figured out, while you’re left questioning everything you thought you knew about God’s plan for your life. You’ve heard people talk about “God’s calling” and “God’s purpose,” but you’re not sure how to tell the difference, let alone how to walk it out.
Here’s the truth: Your purpose didn’t end with your marriage—it was refined by it. And understanding the difference between God’s calling and His purpose is the key to walking confidently into your next chapter.
Some seasons in life bring a quiet wrestle—a deep knowing that God is calling you to something… but everything in you wants to say, “Lord, not that.”
I know this wrestle well.
The Problem: We Want God’s Will… But On Our Terms
We long for God’s direction, but we often hope His plans fit neatly into our timelines, comfort zones, and preferences.
We want to follow Jesus, but without the daily cross-carrying He spoke about:
“If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.” — Luke 9:23
That’s where I found myself in 2023.
My Story: The Call I Didn’t Expect
In prayer, the Lord told me to share my story—not just any story, but the one I had quietly kept close: my divorce at age 30, raising my son as a single mom.
At first, I was stunned. Why would He want me to reopen something so personal? But then He spoke clearly:
He wanted His daughters healed and whole—for their sake and for the sake of their children—so those children could grow into well-adjusted adults.
He walked me back through my life and my parenting journey. He reminded me of the ways He had led me—even in my pain—to protect my son’s heart. How I had never spoken negatively about his father in his presence. How I made sure they stayed connected, even when it wasn’t easy.
I realized this wasn’t just my story; it was His testimony of grace and obedience through me. And that’s when surrender turned into purpose.
Addressing the Shame and Fear Factor
When I was in my early 30s, I carried shame I didn’t even want to name. I was a young, divorced mother to a toddler—and I wondered how those who had known me in college, especially my sorority sisters, would see me now.
Some people even assumed I wouldn’t want to get married again just because I’d been divorced. That was appalling to me. People don’t know what to say when they’ve never been in your shoes. And the enemy loves to use those moments to whisper, “You’re unworthy. You’re disqualified.”
But God says otherwise. He takes what we think disqualifies us and uses it to point people back to Him.
What’s Your Next Yes?
You might not be called to share your story publicly like I was. But maybe God’s been nudging you to forgive someone, start something, end something, or take a step that feels impossible.
And sometimes, it’s not even about a single bold act—it’s about getting clear on what God has specifically called you to do.
It’s like when someone says, “I just like to help people.” That’s a good heart, but help them do what? God hasn’t called us to do everything for everyone. He’s given each of us a unique assignment—and surrender plus obedience is how you discover what your help is supposed to look like. Without clarity from Him, our efforts can be scattered. But when we obey His leading, our help becomes purposeful and life-changing.
Here’s something that helps many believers get unstuck: understanding the difference between your God-given purpose and your God-given calling. They work together—but they’re not always the same thing.
Your God-Given Purpose
- What it is: The overarching reason you exist—why God created you.
- Biblical anchor: “…all things have been created through Him and for Him.” — Colossians 1:16
- For believers, purpose is always rooted in glorifying God, loving Him, loving others, and making disciples.
- Example: My purpose is to bring God glory by helping His daughters heal and become whole so they can raise well-adjusted children.
Your God-Given Calling
- What it is: The specific assignments or roles God gives you in a season to walk out your purpose.
- Biblical anchor: “…live a life worthy of the calling you have received.” — Ephesians 4:1
- Your calling can change over time as God leads you into different places, roles, or ministries.
- Example: Right now, my calling is to lead “Divorce Is Not My Name” and teach “The A.T.O.M. Principle” as a pathway to healing for single and divorced mothers.
Purpose is the unchanging “why” God made you. Calling is the specific “how” He’s asking you to live that out right now. And no, your calling doesn’t have to be behind a pulpit. Men and women alike are called to impact lives in homes, workplaces, schools, and communities—anywhere God sends us.
Surrender Is the Starting Line
Surrender is not defeat; it’s a deliberate handing over of control. It’s saying to God:
“Your will be done in me and through me, even if it looks different than I imagined.”
Jesus modeled this in Gethsemane:
“Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done.” — Luke 22:42
When I surrendered my fear of being exposed and chose to share my story, God used it to connect with women I never would have reached otherwise.
What Obedience Produces
Before surrender, I carried my story in silence—protecting myself but missing the chance to minister to others.
After obedience, I watched women find healing, my son’s heart remain whole, and my own peace deepen in ways I couldn’t have imagined.
That’s the power of a single “yes.”
Obedience Puts Surrender in Motion
Surrender puts the pen into God’s hands. Obedience lets Him write the story.
Obedience is active trust—moving where God leads, even when the path is uncertain. Jesus made it plain:
“If you love me, you will keep my commandments.” — John 14:15
For me, obedience looked like telling my story, trusting that God would use my vulnerability to bring someone else healing.
Small Starts Count Too
Obedience doesn’t always begin with a public step. Sometimes it’s simply returning a phone call, opening your Bible before you open your phone, or choosing to pray before you respond.
God honors the small yeses, too.
3 Ways to Discern If That Nudge Is From God
- It aligns with Scripture—God will never lead you to do something that contradicts His Word.
- It brings peace in your spirit—even if it stretches you, there’s a settled assurance in your heart.
- It’s confirmed through prayer and godly counsel—wise, Spirit-led people affirm the direction.
Walking It Out Daily
- Deny yourself—trade self-driven decisions for God-led ones.
- Take up your cross—accept that purpose often requires sacrifice.
- Follow Christ—make His voice your compass.
This is how surrender and obedience turn into a lifestyle—not just a moment.
Abiding in Christ
Without staying connected to Jesus, surrender becomes exhausting and obedience feels impossible.
“Apart from me you can do nothing.” — John 15:5
Abiding is the secret to consistency. It’s what allows us to keep saying “yes,” even when it’s hard.
The Encouragement
Your purpose is not hidden from you; it’s hidden in Christ (Colossians 3:3). And the more you surrender and obey, the clearer it becomes.
- Surrender says, “Lord, I give You my life.”
- Obedience says, “Lord, I’ll walk where You lead.”
- Together, they form the unshakable path to your God-given purpose.
Reflection Question:
What’s the one thing God is asking you to release so you can step into the next part of your purpose?
A’s Love Action:
Take that one thing and bring it to God in prayer today.
Write it down, ask Him for the courage to surrender it, and take the very first step toward obedience—trusting that He will meet you in the middle of your yes.
Final Word:
One surrendered “yes” can change the entire direction of your life—and the lives connected to yours.
You don’t have to walk this journey alone.
God’s purpose for your life is still alive, and every surrendered “yes” moves you closer to the future He’s prepared for you. I’d love to walk alongside you as you take that next step.
Stay Connected + Next Steps
If you’re a divorced or single mom still raising your children and want to participate in my 8-week The A.T.O.M. Principle™ program, email me at [email protected] for more details.
Click on the link to get my FREE resource—”Get Ready, Daughter: 5 Days to Regain Peace, Courage & Clarity When Life Shifts” (a rhythm reset for women navigating transitions they didn’t choose). This devotional will help you regain focus, strengthen your faith, and take your next step with confidence. Click here to get it now.
