“From Hardened Hearts to Open Hands: Trusting God with Love and Healing”
Relationships—whether romantic or otherwise—can leave lasting marks on our hearts. For some, the wounds of betrayal, unkindness, or unmet expectations have turned into bitterness, leaving them guarded, suspicious, or closed off to love. While these feelings are natural responses to pain, they can also harden the heart, making it difficult to heal or move forward.
As someone who has walked this path, I want to share my story and offer insights using the A.T.O.M. Principle, a faith-centered framework for healing and transformation. This journey isn’t just about recovering from heartbreak but also about preparing your heart for the blessings God has in store.
Step 1: Acknowledge and Assess the Hurt
Before healing can begin, we must acknowledge the pain and its effects. We often try to move forward without dealing with the root cause, but the Bible reminds us:
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” (Psalm 34:18)
Acknowledging hurt doesn’t mean dwelling in it—it means being honest about its impact. Denying or suppressing it only leads to bitterness, which can harden our hearts. By facing the pain, we invite God to step into the broken places and begin the healing process.
Step 2: Turn Inward and Turn Upward
Healing also requires turning inward to reflect and upward to God for guidance. This is where boundaries play a vital role.
I’ve learned that boundaries are different from walls. Walls block out everything, including the Holy Spirit’s work, while fences allow for discernment, protecting what’s valuable while remaining open to God’s blessings.
“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” (Proverbs 4:23)
By surrendering our relationships to God, we create space for Him to reveal what aligns with His purpose. I’ve often prayed, “Lord, show me what I need to see about this person. If this relationship is not from You, please remove it.” And He has been faithful to guide me.
Step 3: Own Your Story Without Bitterness
The temptation to build walls or harden our hearts is real, but God calls us to a higher way. Choosing not to harden my heart has been one of the most important decisions in my journey. Despite past hurts, I’ve refused to let bitterness take root.
“I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.” (Ezekiel 36:26)
Owning your story means recognizing the lessons learned from past relationships and allowing God to rewrite your narrative. Each relationship—whether it ends well or painfully—can be a tool for growth and self-reflection, teaching us about ourselves and how we can align more closely with God’s purpose.
Step 4: Move Forward with Trust in God
Trusting again, especially after betrayal, isn’t easy. Trust is earned, not automatic, and that applies to ourselves and others. More importantly, trusting God with your heart allows you to move forward in faith.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.” (Proverbs 3:5-6)
I’ve learned to focus on God’s faithfulness, knowing He has a plan for my life. Whether it’s in relationships, personal growth, or my ministry with Divorce Is Not My Name, I’ve seen His miraculous hand at work. While I wait for the right relationship, I rest in the knowledge that His timing is perfect.
Applying the A.T.O.M. Principle
The A.T.O.M. Principle—Acknowledge, Turn, Own, Move—is a transformative framework for emotional and spiritual healing:
- Acknowledge and Assess: Face the hurt honestly and invite God to begin the healing process.
- Turn Inward and Turn Upward: Reflect on what’s inside and surrender everything to God. Boundaries, not walls, allow discernment and openness to His guidance.
- Own Your Story: Choose to grow through the pain, recognizing lessons and rewriting your narrative with God’s help.
- Move Forward: Trust God’s plan and timing as you take steps toward a healed and hopeful future.
This principle is more than a method—it’s a journey of faith, courage, and surrender, helping you become the person God created you to be.
Living with an Open Heart
The journey to healing and readiness for love isn’t about finding the right person—it’s about becoming the right person. By keeping your focus on God, maintaining healthy boundaries, and trusting Him completely, you prepare your heart for the love He intends for you.
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.” (Romans 8:28)
For anyone struggling with a hardened heart, I encourage you to surrender it to God. Allow Him to search your heart, remove what doesn’t belong, and replace it with His love and peace. With His guidance, you can move from hurt to healing, from guardedness to grace, and from bitterness to blessings.
