Godly Confidence: How Divorced Single Moms Can Reclaim Their Leadership and Purpose

“Godly Confidence: How Divorced Single Moms Can Reclaim Their Leadership and Purpose”

Confidence is a buzzword we hear often, especially for women striving to balance motherhood, careers, and entrepreneurial pursuits. But what is confidence? More importantly, how can divorced and single moms, particularly those in leadership positions, cultivate confidence that’s rooted not in external validation but in God? Let’s explore the essence of confidence, its pitfalls, and how godly confidence serves as a foundation for success and fulfillment.

What Is Confidence?

At its core, confidence is a state of assurance—believing in your abilities, decisions, and identity. However, true and lasting confidence is not self-made; it is God-given.

For divorced moms navigating the challenges of career, parenting, and entrepreneurship, confidence plays a crucial role in decision-making, resilience, and influencing others. Yet, confidence that begins and ends with oneself is fragile. When our achievements, appearances, or even relationships falter, self-made confidence crumbles.

Godly confidence, on the other hand, starts with understanding who we are in Christ.

Loved unconditionally (Romans 8:38-39)
Chosen and called for a purpose (Jeremiah 29:11)
Empowered by His strength (Philippians 4:13)

Personal Story: A Lesson in God-Confidence

In the summer of 2023, I felt a nudge from the Holy Spirit to step out in faith and build something deeply personal—a course designed to help divorced and single moms. My own divorce happened over 20 years ago when I was 30. Since then, I’ve grown spiritually and emotionally, but this calling brought me face-to-face with my need for God-confidence.

I realized I couldn’t rely on my own abilities or strength to bring this vision to life. I needed to trust God fully—to open doors, provide the right insight, and guide me in His perfect timing. This wasn’t just a ministry; it was also an entrepreneurial endeavor requiring courage, planning, and faith.

One of the hardest parts has been getting out of my own way, accepting that it may not be perfect, and simply stepping forward in obedience. God-confidence reminds me that success is not about doing it my way but surrendering to His way and His will.

When Confidence Becomes Cockiness

While confidence is a positive trait, it can veer into cockiness when self-assurance becomes self-centered. Cockiness often manifests as pride or arrogance, stemming from a misplaced belief that success is solely the result of one’s abilities.

For women in leadership, this can look like:

Dismissing constructive feedback.
Focusing on personal glory instead of collaboration.
Valuing external accomplishments over internal growth.

Cockiness says, “I did this and I deserve the credit.”
Godly confidence says, “God equipped me for this, and I give Him the glory.”

“God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” (James 4:6)

When we root our confidence in God, we stay grounded, teachable, and grateful—qualities that inspire and uplift others.

C.S. Lewis on Confidence and Humility

“Humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less.” – C.S. Lewis

This quote perfectly encapsulates the difference between self-confidence rooted in ego and godly confidence. True humility allows us to trust God’s plan without diminishing the unique gifts He’s given us.

Reflective Prompts

Take a moment to reflect on the following:

What areas of your life need more godly confidence?
Are there moments when your confidence veers into self-reliance or even cockiness? How can you shift this focus to God?
How does trusting in God’s timing build your faith and confidence in Him?

Write down your thoughts or share them with someone you trust.

Why Confidence Matters for Divorced Moms in Leadership

Divorced moms often juggle multiple roles:

Caretakers and nurturers of their children.
Employees or entrepreneurs managing demanding careers.
Visionaries leading teams or community projects.

Confidence is essential in these roles because it:

Inspires Trust: A confident leader attracts followers who believe in her vision.
Drives Resilience: Confidence in God allows divorced moms to bounce back from setbacks, knowing their worth isn’t tied to failures or successes.
Models Strength: For children, especially, seeing a mom walk in godly confidence fosters security and teaches them to lean on God for their identity.

“The Lord will be your confidence and will keep your foot from being caught.” (Proverbs 3:26)

The A.T.O.M. Principle: Confidence in Action

Confidence ties seamlessly into the A.T.O.M. Principle, a framework designed to guide divorced moms toward emotional and spiritual healing.

Acknowledge & Assess: Face areas of insecurity with honesty and bring them before God.
Turn Inward & Turn Upward: Reflect on inner fears and align them with God’s Word.
Own Your Story: Embrace your journey and God’s redemptive work in your life.
Move Forward: Step into opportunities with assurance, trusting God to equip you.

A’s Love Action

To apply what you’ve read, take one small step this week to anchor your confidence more deeply in God. Whether it’s journaling about His faithfulness, memorizing a Scripture, or stepping out in faith for a new opportunity, let your confidence reflect His glory.