“Why Searching for Role Models for My Son Led Me to God’s Plan—and Transformed My Faith and Parenting”
Parenting as a single mother is a journey of love, sacrifice, and, at times, overwhelming responsibility. When I found myself raising my son with his dad not so present, I knew I needed to bridge that gap. I wanted him to have strong, positive male role models who could guide him and pour into his life in ways I couldn’t. What I didn’t realize was that this search would become a profound lesson in faith, trust, and surrender—and birth what I now call the A.T.O.M. process.
Understanding A.T.O.M.
A.T.O.M.—Acknowledge & Assess, Turn Inward & Turn Upward, Own Your Story, and Move Forward—emerged from the trenches of my struggles as a single mom. Born not from triumph but from tear-stained prayers and late-night worries, this framework transformed not only my parenting but my entire relationship with God.
Carrying the Weight of Single Parenthood
The responsibility of raising a God-fearing man felt crushing at times. I searched everywhere for potential mentors—church members, community programs, workshops—seeking men who could model biblical fatherhood. My calendar filled with activities and meetings, but my heart remained heavy with doubt. I believed it was my job to fill every gap and fix every missing piece. Yet despite my tireless efforts, nothing seemed to work.
The First Step: Acknowledging Reality
It wasn’t until I embraced the first step of A.T.O.M.—Acknowledge & Assess—that clarity began to emerge. I had to face a hard truth: I couldn’t control everything, and trying to do so was draining my spirit. This realization led me to understand that I needed help—not just from people, but fundamentally from God.
The Divine Interruption
Exhaustion became my turning point. In the quiet of surrender, I discovered the second step: Turn Inward & Turn Upward. The Holy Spirit’s whisper was gentle but clear: “Take your hands off of this. Allow Me to work.” This moment anchored me in Scripture, particularly Proverbs 3:5-6: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.”
Embracing God’s Narrative
The third step, Own Your Story, revolutionized my perspective. Jeremiah 29:11 became my foundation: “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Being a single mother wasn’t a deficit in my son’s life—it was part of God’s larger narrative. This realization freed me from seeing myself as someone who needed to compensate for what was missing.
Walking in Freedom
Moving Forward, the final step, brought unexpected blessings. As I loosened my grip on control, God orchestrated what I never could. Strong, godly men appeared in my son’s life through various channels—dedicated teachers, passionate coaches, and invested church leaders. Isaiah 41:10 became my daily comfort: “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
The A.T.O.M. Process for Other Single Mothers
If you’re navigating single motherhood, consider applying A.T.O.M. to your journey:
- Acknowledge & Assess
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- Be honest about your current situation
- Release the need to appear perfect
- Recognize where you need support
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- Turn Inward & Turn Upward
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- Examine your heart’s motivations
- Lift your eyes to God in prayer
- Trust His guidance over your own understanding
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- Own Your Story
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- Embrace your journey as part of God’s plan
- Accept that challenges shape both you and your children
- Find strength in your unique path
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- Move Forward
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- Walk confidently in God’s provision
- Trust His timing and methods
- Celebrate small victories along the way
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A Legacy of Faith
Today, my son stands as a testament to God’s faithfulness—a loving husband and father, deeply rooted in his faith. His life reflects not my perfect parenting but God’s perfect provision. Through this journey, I learned that God fills gaps we never could, heals wounds we can’t touch, and writes stories more beautiful than we could imagine.
The Ultimate Lesson
To every single mother reading this: Release yourself from the pressure to be everything. Trust the One who already is everything. Your story isn’t just about surviving—it’s about discovering a faith that transforms generations. As you watch God work in ways you never could have orchestrated, remember that He’s writing a story of redemption more beautiful than you could have imagined.
Remember, you’re not just raising a child; you’re raising a testimony to God’s faithfulness. Trust His process. He hasn’t forgotten you or your children. In fact, He’s just beginning to reveal the beautiful story He’s writing through your life.
A’s Action Steps to Freedom of Surrender
If you’re ready to experience the freedom of surrender and trust God more deeply in your parenting, here are three steps to help you get started:
- Reflect and Journal: Take time to acknowledge where you are right now. Write down your struggles and your fears, and pray for clarity on the areas where you need to surrender control.
- Pray with Specificity: Ask God for guidance in your parenting and for divine connections to enter your child’s life. Be specific about your needs and trust Him to work in unexpected ways.
- Release and Trust: Make a conscious decision to release what you cannot control to God. Reflect on Proverbs 3:5-6 and allow His Word to strengthen your faith as you take this step of surrender.
